


The @ProfSnakeInABox Drabbles

by friendlytroll



Category: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes
Genre: Domestic, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Gen, Holidays, M/M, Short, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-10-20 11:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20674295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendlytroll/pseuds/friendlytroll
Summary: Just like everyone else working in an office job who wants to occasionally be able to 'Like' his children's BoxyDig Videos Games clips, Professor Venomous does, in fact, have a social media account. These are the stories behind his exhausted, fatherly, and often incredibly gay tweets.Or to be more clear, I run an in character shutposting* account for Professor Venomous called @ProfSnakeInABox pretty much entirely for my own amusement as a way to vent small doofy jokes and ideas while I work on longer fic in the background. Then I got seized by the notion of writing out the scene leading from one of these tweets and here we are~*Not a typo, just OK K.O. is too G-Rated a universe to have swears and 'poopposting' felt off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> @profsnakeinabox  
"Huh. I hear something moving in the vents but Fink and Mikayla are all accounted for, and it doesn’t SOUND like Jethro."  
|  
|  
@profsnakeinabox  
"IT'S DENDY"

“So the question,” Boxman said, voice faintly strained. “Is what  _ exactly _ do. We.  _ Do  _ with her.” 

“At this point? I say we toss her in the furnace and move on with our lives.” Venomous said darkly, crossing his arms as he examined the squirming kappa girl, hanging by her backpack from Boxman’s claws. 

“Aaa!” she- sort of just said? Instead of actually yelling?

“PROFESSOR VENOMOUS.  _ Absolutely not! _ ” Boxman hissed, whipping his head to the side to glare at him. 

“Joking! I was joking. ...mostly a joke” Venomous said, holding his hands up. Alright killing a child WAS actually far, far more monstrous then he… liked to _ think _ he could ever possibly get. But frankly it’d taken an hour of chasing down the motion signal in the vents, closing off escape routes, and sending Fink in after her to corner the squirrely little programmer. And it was going to take an *hour* to wash all the dust and vent grime out of Fink’s hair.  _ Again _ . 

“Please, calm yourselves. While I understand this situation is most unusual, I can explain.” Dendy said, pretty calmly for someone wiggling like a kitten picked up by its scruff from the hands of the most dangerous villains  _ in the state _ , if not arguably the world. 

Venomous took a slow, deep breath, and steepled his fingers, closing his eyes. She was, he understood, a programmer of some kind. Maybe she’d… noticed. Something. Perhaps it was a secret mission, and they could get an edge by getting some information out of her. Hell- maybe the Bodega was playing an  _ incredibly inane  _ game of truth or dare. At this point he would accept any rational explanation. 

“Alright. Fine.” he said calmly. 

“This had BETTER BE GOOD!” Boxman growled, hefting Dendy further up into the air to glare at her. She bounced slightly in the straps of her backpack, and calmly reached up to adjust her goggles, taking her sweet time before she spoke. 

“...K.O. is visiting his grandma today, so I am bored, and I wanted to see if I could.” she declared, smiling a tiny ‘v’ shape of apparent satisfaction. 

“... _ what. _ ” Venomous said quietly, staring at the child.

“It was actually somewhat easier than I had anticipated. However, I was really hoping to be able to make my way to the central programming facilities. Perhaps then I could have studied the coding used for your robots.” Dendy added, tilting her head to one side and frowning with apparent disappointment. 

“...Hah! Not bad, kid- you’ve got moxie! I like it.” Boxman said, rubbing his chin as he snickered at the little girl’s answer. 

“ _ What?!”  _ Venomous repeated, staring. 

“Reminds me of myself as a wee lad… I’m afraid it’s against company policy to let people outside of the factory get a look at our codes or programs- industry espionage, you understand.” Boxmore said, somewhat apologetically. 

“Ah. Yes, I assumed as such. That is why I crawled in through the vents. Also, I wanted to see if the robots had beds.” she said, nodding thoughtfully. 

“They do, actually. It functions as a wireless charger." Boxman said brightly.

"I see... I suppose it would make sense they need to charge. And creating an extended 'sleep' function could allow them to properly sort memories from short term to long, an especially daunting task given the hive mind nature of their consciousness." Dendy concluded, vaguely kicking her legs in the air. Not strongly enough to escape, just as some kind of. Vague motion. 

"Exactly! There's a few other reasons- a personalized resting space reinforces the personal ego. But that was pretty sharp. ...say! I know! Why not consider applying for the Boxmore Summer Internship program? Then we could get you set up with the right paperwork…” Boxman suggested, while Venomous stared at both of them. 

“What- ABSOLUTELY NOT. She’s a CHILD! And a hero! SHE’S K.O.’S BEST FRIEND that’s his own actual age! Just- shove her in a box and send her BACK!” Venomous hissed, gesturing intently. Dendy seemed to be ignoring him, and had her eyes closed as she considered something. For a moment, it was silent. 

“...would this be an _unpaid_ internship?” Dendy asked. 

“Well-” Boxman began, looking away guiltily. 

“What?! No, of course not. We’re not _monsters_.” Venomous said, without thinking. He blinked and shrugged when Boxman looked sharply at him. Evil capitalism had its limits, and he had more than enough money to toss whatever random teen they eventually got in the job. Who was evil. And not  _ literally part of the bodega- _

“I would like to see an application form, please!” Dendy declared. Boxman brightened up again. Venomous… quietly pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he thought a moment.Then he lowered his hand, eyebrows perched almost all the way up to his widow’s peak. 

“...Actually, you know what? I can work with this.” he said, shrugging loosely. He smiled a little at Boxman’s triumphant laughter before an insistent squeaky noise caught his ear. When he looked around he spotted Fink peeking into the room, insistently waving her rubber King Ghidorah bath toy at him, her fur still stained sooty grey.

"...Okay you better handle this. I have an urgent appointment." he said flatly. 

"YEAH YOU DO! AND I WANNA USE MY BATH BOMBS!" Fink yelled. 


	2. Traditions and Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @ProfSnakeInABox  
·  
Nov 28  
So. I know getting into a holiday isn’t… really. You know. *Villain*. But. 
> 
> Right now as we speak Fink is playing Jumpman Karts with her siblings, Boxman is singing loudly in the kitchen while he bakes whatever a “Piake” is, and I’m ordering delivery on the phone. 
> 
> And. Well.
> 
> @ProfSnakeInABox  
·  
Nov 28  
It’s loud. And noisy. And warm. And loud. And… 
> 
> …for the first time in Finks life, and, honestly, quite possibly *mine*, it feels like we’re part of a proper family. 
> 
> And I really am grateful.
> 
> Professor Venomous  
@ProfSnakeInABox  
Never mind Boxman told me I have to sing the next song ‘So the Piake will bake right’, Thanks Day is cancelled. I’m going back to my lab as soon as I get out of this arm lock. REMEMBER ME AS I WAS.
> 
> (Song: [Time In A Bottle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTfwbtVVtAY) )
> 
> Happy Shucksgiving~

“Aaaabsolutely not.” Venomous said, flatly. It wasn’t, honestly, a phrase he used *often* with Boxman. He was a naturally indulgent person with the people he loved. No price was too high when one of Boxmans brilliant smiles was at stake. Usually. 

One. One price was too high. 

Boxman didn’t show any disappointment at the refusal- actually he barely seemed to have *noticed* it, still beaming up at him with those expectant, *wicked* eyes. He had to know this was embarrassing- no. Venomous was *sure* he knew. He was just a little bully, and thought gently needling him in a harmless weakness was fun. Or. ‘Cute’. Because he was a brat.

Cob, it was attractive. 

It was warm in the kitchen. That was part of why Venomous was back there. Fall was never kind to snake biology, and even though the factory as a whole was kept warm by it’s churning machinery and the many robot bodies it housed, the radiant heat of the oven was comfortable. And they were close enough to where the minions were playing Jumpman Karts to listen in and make sure the exciting yelling wasn’t crossing over into ‘actually for real fighting’ yelling. But. Even more importantly… Boxman was there. 

Not. Cooking the whole Shucksgiving dinner, of course. Even if Boxman *felt* like doing that much cooking at once, Venomous felt it just wasn’t. Practical. Also, frankly, as much as Fink had come to adore Boxman, he was pretty sure she’d have refused to eat. In his experiences, Boxman’s food was actually pretty delicious it just. Looked. Horrible. Still. The ‘Pieake’ smelled promising. Whatever it was. 

...And it was well worth it for Boxman in his apron, anyhow. He’d stripped off his customary coat and had his sleeves rolled up, and just *then* was looking up at Venomous with an expectant, beaming smile, holding the heels of his palms up under his chin as he blinked up at him through his lashes. 

“But you *have* to~! It’s shucksgiving!” Boxman said, not so much pleading as cajoling. Venomous screwed his face up into a scowl, wrinkling his nose as he hissed at Boxman, pulling his shoulders up as he crossed his arms. 

“And _ what _ , exactly, does that have to do with _ me singing _.” Venomous retorted, ice radiating off the words. Which. Mostly shattered uselessly against the beaming radiance Boxman was putting off. 

“It’s _ tradition _!” Boxman said, with the kind of cheerful, confident certainty this would end the debate that Venomous usually found charming. ...well. He still did. Even if it was being turned against him. 

“...It’s _ tradition _to sing to the baked goods.” Venomous repeated, defrosting just slightly out of curiosity. Boxman perked up, settling his hands on his hips as he nodded enthusiastically. 

“Every Shucksgiving. It’s what Nana Boxman did _ every year _, Cob rest her soul.” Boxman explained, gesturing upwards vaguely with a slight, reverent look. Venomous for his part, glanced down at the floor slightly because he’d HEARD about the elder Boxmans. 

“Fine. What does that have to do with me?” Venomous asked, uncrossing his legs a little. This was a mistake. As soon as he did Boxman had clasped his hands in his, and the warm touch of his claws always made Venomous just. That much… _ softer. _

“It’s a _ family _ tradition, you silly man! And we’re… you know. A _ family _ now.” Boxman purred, pulling one of Venomous’ hands closer to kiss the back of it, still looking up into his hands. 

It was, really, all over then. Venomous knew it. He squirmed slightly, glancing away even as he stepped closer the moment Boxman pulled him in, feeling the embarrassment simmering at odds with a deep, beguiling _ contentment _ at his words. At being… family. 

...How many holidays had he spent, just him and Fink? He still remembered how agonizing it had felt when her first holiday season with him had rolled around and he’d barely been able to afford anything. He was pretty sure she barely remembered it, and it’d been better after that but. 

He’d told himself he liked the quiet, and the lack of mess, and seeing Fink happy was all he needed. And it had been. Just. He could hear her now, crowing with delight in the other room, and explaining the different karts to the robots, and he wished he could just. Frame it. And put it on a little shelf somewhere where he could _ keep it safe _. Forever.

And there was Boxman, looking up at him, and smiling, and asking him to do something embarrassing… but only there, in the kitchen, with him. And no one watching. 

“Does it have to be any particular song?” he asked finally, looking back down into Boxman’s eyes. 

And, honestly, the burst of delighted glee he saw there was more than enough to make almost anything worth it. He watched as the red light of his electronic eye flared, and the corners of his eyes crinkled into deep little crows feet, and those uneven _ fangs _of his shone in the light. 

“Not at all! Whatever you feel like, PV~ I’m *sure* whatever you choose will make it extra delicious.” Boxman said, practically bubbling with delight. And Venom smiled despite himself, leaning down to press a soft kiss against his forehead, thinking a moment. 

...well... hell. It wasn’t like anyone was _ around _. It was just him, and boxman, and a bubbling baking pan of dubious food status. He took a deep breath and straightened up, letting go of one of Boxman’s hands to rub vaguely over his chest as he cleared his throat. How did it go again…? It hadn’t been all that long since he’d sung it to Fink so she could settle to sleep, after all. Not that long at all. 

“Alright. No laughing.” he said, glancing down at Boxman with a blush.”

“Professor! I would _ never _!” Boxman said, putting a hand to his chest. And Venomous believed him. He really did. 

“_ If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do… is to save every day till eternity passes away, just to spend them with you.” _ he began to sing, tone a little quiet at first. It was a slow song, but the way Boxman looked at him made it feel easier to wind his way through the words. 

“_ And if I could make days last forever, and words could make wishes come true-” _ he didn’t actually know who started moving first. But at some point he’d started to sway a little with boxman, hand still in his. He unfurled his tail out behind him, gently shaking his rattle to the beat of the song. 

“_ I’d save every day like a treasure and then again, Again, I would spend them with you…” _he stepped forward with boxman, hand in hand, gently raising his hand with boxman’s clasped in his to spin the smaller man, watching as Boxman gracefully moved with him- and it was hard not to break the pace of the song with the delight he felt as boxman nimbly stepped onto a stepstool and onto the long counter of the kitchen, bringing him up eye to eye with Venomous a moment in the dance. 

_ “But there never seems to be enough time to do the things that you want to do when you find them.” _he crooned, slipping one arm around Boxman’s waist, lifting him up bodily as they spun gently away from the table, the air echoing with Boxman’s delighted laugh. 

_ “I’ve been around enough to know that you’re the one I want to go through time with.” _Venomous let the words mingle under the laugh, just like how Boxman’s heartbeat was mingling against his as they gently spun through the kitchen together. 

“_ If I had a box just for wishes, and dreams that had never come true-” _and he shifted a little, leaning in to bump his cheek against Boxman’s affectionately, pulling back only to make sure he was looking into his eyes as he set him back down onto the table, letting go of his hand to cup his cheek. 

_ “Then the box would be empty, except for the memory of how they were all answered by you…” _he stroked against his cheek gently a moment, tail stilling to wrap around Boxman’s back, holding them a little closer together. 

“_ But there never seems to be enough time to do the things that you want to do when you find them.” _ he only realized with a shock that this time, as he made his way through the chorus, Boxman was singing along with him. Just softly; keeping his own deep, brassy tones from overwhelming Venomous’ voice. And this close, he could _ feel _the vibration of the other man’s voice, purring like the engines of his factories.

And for just a moment, there was nothing else in the world that could possibly have mattered but that. Nothing else at all. 

“_ I’ve looked around enough to know that you’re the one I want to go through time with...” _

And then it was silent, and he was holding Boxman close in his arms, pressing cheek to cheek with him in the sweet-scented, warm air of the kitchen, and time may as well have stopped. It was the kind of sweetness that almost hurt, just for the fear of someday losing it. But then, he was, for once, not even worried about that. 

His thoughts were stilled to the very darkest corners, filled only with the sensation of drawing back the scant few inches it took to press a kiss against Boxman’s lips. 

“...oh, eww.”

“_ Fiiiink, Shhhh, we’re gonna get in troublleeeee.” _

It was, unfortunately, only then that Venomous dimly realized he hadn’t heard any sounds from the Jumpman Kart competition for quite some time now. His eyes snapped open as he pulled back, and turned his head slowly towards the door. There, too slow to duck out of the way entirely, he glimpsed a puff of green hair and the faint shine of light on painted metal. 

“Everyone is grounded.” he announced directly into Boxmans shoulder, the words muffled. Boxman sighed and patted his hair gently, shaking his head. 

“No, they’re not. But they’re GOING to be if they don’t park their chassis back in the den!” Boxman barked, pre-empting a chorus of ‘YES, FATHER!’, one ‘cob, FIIINE’ and a sudden explosion of heavy running. Venomous opened his eyes to turn his head towards the door, a faint snort escaping him as he glimpsed Raymond physically *carrying* Fink in a sort of. ‘Three year old holding an unamused cat under the armpits’ pose. 

“...There, now was that _ so _bad?” Boxman asked, gently petting his hair again. Venomous snorted softly, nuzzling into his shoulder. 

“No. But I’m still going to demand you comfort be about it.” he said flatly, smiling all the same. 

“But of _ course _I will, you silly man~” Boxman purred, kissing the top of his head repeatedly until a soft little laugh escaped him. 

And about a month later, he’d have to admit… even if he couldn’t stop time, the framed photo that the Bots had taken on the sly when they’d been peeking was a pretty good substitute. 


End file.
